Coming through the storm
by Kelly Moreland
Summary: The impact of the crash was brutal, and Jack saw every second of it in slow motion with vivid detail. //Whump alert. Some angst too. S/J //
1. Chapter 1

Coming through the storm.

by Kelly Moreland

Jack O'Neill was mad. No, he had passed mad miles ago, now he was _pissed. _His day had started off nice enough. He had gotten an unexpected call from Sam at area fifty one. Nothing official, just a call from his fiance to talk for a few minutes. Nothing made him feel better than talking to her and as soon as he got home he'd call her just to calm down. _Shit!_ No he wouldn't either, there was a time difference to think of. With him in DC and her there, she would still be in the lab. That made him even madder and he pressed the accelerator down even further, weaving in and out of traffic.

The impact of the crash was brutal, and Jack saw every second of it in slow motion with vivid detail.

The bigger truck crossed the double yellow line and came right for him but there was no where Jack could go. He desperately hit his brakes but the other truck plowed right into him.

His seat belt jerked harshly across his chest, as he instinctively turned his face away from the window. The entire engine was shoved forward against his knees and feet and Jack yelled in agony as bones broke up and down his legs. His truck spun from the force of the impact and was hit yet again by a sedan.

Jack felt a strange popping sensation in his hip, followed by another wave of pain. Spots of bright light danced in front of his eyes and he was pulled down into merciful darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

Jack was wakened sometime later by the paramedics. He was still seated in his truck and was now wearing an uncomfortable cervical collar around his neck. He was slumped forward somewhat and the paramedics were asking him his name, the date, who was the president.

_God, I must be bad off_, he thought.

The pain in his legs and hip was unreal and for a minute he thought he was going to vomit.

The firemen and paramedics gently eased him from the crumpled wreckage of his truck and onto a backboard. They strapped him down, carefully placing foam wedges around his shattered legs to help keep them still. Jack couldn't keep from crying out as they did though, the pain was just too much.

"Do you know your name, sir?" one of the medics asked him as he put in an IV.

"Jack," he whispered, "General Jack O'Neill"

"General O'Neill I know you are in a lot of pain, but I can't give you anything yet, just hold on and we'll have you at the hospital in a few minutes."

"Call my fiance, Samantha Carter," Jack muttered.

"We'll take care of all that, after we take care of you, ok?"

Jack could only manage the barest nod of his head, the medic was right, why worry Sam just yet.

The ride to the hospital was the longest of his life. To Jack it seemed that he felt every pebble and rock in the road, and all he could do was lie there and bite his lip. The pain in his legs and hip had not changed and he almost wished he'd pass out again just to relieve the pain. Luckily a few minutes later, with sirens blaring, they pulled into the bay at the trauma center.

They unloaded him from the ambulance and whisked him inside where he was met by a team of three doctors. They introduced themselves but Jack could give a rat's ass. The pain seemed to be creeping up his legs like a slow dark mist. Next thing he knew he was in an exam room and the doctors were looking at x-rays.

"Multiple tib fib fractures on both legs," one of the doctors said.

"Dislocation of the femoral head,"

"Speak in english, guys," Jack grumbled.

The female of the trio turned to him.

"Both shins are broken in a couple of places, and your hip is out of place. Now, the hip would be no problem to put back in place, if it weren't for the tib fib fractures. So we can't do anything about that, but you'll go into surgery within the hour. General O'Neill, you have at least two surgeries ahead of you plus the setting of your hip. The next few months will be difficult for you, but you can beat this. I get the impression you are a very strong man.

Jack didn't answer that. He simply didn't feel that strong right now.

"Can you call my fiance, please?" he asked.

"What's the number?"

Jack rattled off Sam's number at home and waited patiently while the doctor dialed it and stretched the wall phone over so he could speak into it.

It rang four times before she answered.

"Sam?" he said starting to feel groggy from some pain killer they must have given him.

"Jack? What is it, what's wrong?"

"Wrecked my truck. Hurt pretty bad. Both legs broken and my hip is out of place. Can you come?"

"I'll be there by morning, Jack. Let me talk to the doctor, ok?"

"She wants to talk to you," he said to the doctor, feeling himself start to drift into unconsciousness. He vaguely heard her answer some questions, but couldn't make them out too well. He closed his eyes and let the darkness claim him again.


	3. Chapter 3

The next time Jack woke he was in a private room and there was a warm, soft hand holding his.

"Sam?" he said, his voice gravely.

"Hey," she said, he could tell she had been crying.

"What time is it?"

"It's a little after two in the morning."

"How long have I been out?" he asked, his voice growing stronger now.

"Two days," Sam said, picking up a cup with a straw in it and holding it so he could drink a little.

"Surgery?"

"Four hours and six pins worth," she replied shakily.

"Wonder if that qualifies as some kind of record?"

She chuckled at him which was what he wanted. He couldn't stand the thought of her being sad because of him.

"Do I have to learn to walk again?"

"Don't worry about that right now," she said quickly.

"In other words, yes."

"It will depend on how your legs heal. Maybe not," she tried to sound hopeful.

"Did they fix my hip yet?" he asked.

"No, they can't until your legs heal more. You are bed ridden for a while."

"Oh. Joy."

"I've arranged to use some of my leave, if you want I'll stay with you."

"You know I do," he said, squeezing her hand.

"Are you in much pain now?"

"Yeah, some."

She handed him a cord that had a small button at the end.

"Meet your new best friend," she said, showing him how to work the automatic medication despenser.

"When you are in pain, just hit the button."

"Got it boss," he answered, pressing the button. Sam clipped the cord to his pillow so it was within easy reach.

"Do you want anything?" she asked.

"No, just for you to stay close by," he said honestly.

"Sleep, Jack," Sam said, stroking the back of his hand. "I'll be here when you wake."

Jack nodded and let his eyes drift close.

When he woke next sunlight was streaming through the window of his room and his legs were throbbing. Sam was asleep on a cot by the bed and she looked so tired he decided not to wake her.

He pushed the button on his pain med dispenser and cautiously tried sitting up in bed. He knew instantly it was a bad idea. Pain flared in his right hip and he gritted his teeth to keep from swearing and waking Sam.

"Jack! What are you doing?" She yelled at him, suddenly sitting up on the cot.

"Testing my boundaries," he said, his teeth still gritted against the pain.

"Well don't, try just raising the bed a little."

Jack felt a little foolish at having not thought of that himself, but did as she suggested and raised the head of his bed a few degrees.

"Better?" Sam asked, standing by his bed now.

"Yeah, a lot," he nodded, "Now go back to sleep," he tried to shoo her back to bed.

"No, I'm going down to cafeteria to get something to eat, do you want anything?"

"Can I have anything?"

"Let's ask the nurse," she said, pushing the call button.

A moment later a voice came over the intercom.

"Yes?"

"We were wondering why type of diet Jack is on? IV only, or liquid?"

"Liquid. If it will go through a straw he can have it," she answered.

"Thank you" Sam said, then turned her attention back to Jack.

"So want me to bring you something?"

"Sure, what ever looks good to you and can be sucked through a straw."

Sam just glared at him before leaning over and kissing him lightly.

"I'll be back."

Jack closed his eyes as she left, intending to rest for just a minute but drifted off to a fitful sleep.

Sam woke him when she returned, his brow covered in sweat.

"You were having a bad dream," she told him, handing him a chocolate milkshake.

"Dreaming about that damn truck that hit me. Now look at me. They don't even know when I'll be able to walk again, do they?"

"But you are missing the point, Jack. You _will_ walk again. I know you will."

Jack said nothing, just drinking his milkshake.

"Want to watch some TV?" she asked, changing the subject.

"Sure, see what you can find."

They channel surfed, finally settling on the cartoon channel which Jack secretly loved. He had pressed the button on his meds dispenser and was growing sleepy. Sam let him drift away to sleep and had no idea how to tell him that the doctors said the next six months would probably be the roughest of his life.


	4. Chapter 4

When Jack woke next it was to the hushed sound of voices in his room. He saw Sam talking with and older man in a doctor's coat.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"Doctor Compton, nice to see you awake General. How are you feeling?"

"Like crap, and I want to know when I won't feel like crap."

"I won't lie to you, you have some recovery time ahead of you. A lot of it depends on how fast you heal."

"When can you put my hip back in place?"

"In about two weeks. If we did it now it would risk re-breaking your shin, and we really don't want that."

"So I'm looking at two weeks in bed?" Jack asked in disbelief

"I'm afraid so," Doctor Compton replied.

"You have got to be kidding me."

"Not at all," the older man answered.

"And after that?" Sam asked. "What is our next step?"

"Well, there will be physical therapy, of course--"

"Of course there will," Jack interrupted angrily.

"Jack," Sam said, trying to calm him.

"General O'Neill, I don't think you appreciate your position. You could have easily died in that collision. You are a lucky man. Getting back on your feet will be hard, but you will be able to do it."

Jack didn't say anything.

"I'll see you both tomorrow," Doctor Compton said, taking his leave of them.

"Calm down," Sam said, rubbing his arm.

Jack jerked away from her touch.

"You put yourself in my position and then tell me if you could calm down," Jack snapped.

Jack sighed, he knew he was wallowing in self pity and Sam was doing nothing more than being her usual supportive self.

"Sorry," he muttered softly.

"Accepted," she said.

"This is going to drive me batshit, Sam. Two weeks of inactivity."

"I know. How about I get you a couple of Tom Clancy novels? Would that help?"

"Anything will help. Get a deck of cards and play gin rummy with me."

"I can do that. I love you Jack."

"I love you too," he sighed, "sorry I bit your head off."

"It's ok. In your place I would have done the same thing."

Jack hit the button on the meds dispenser.

"I'm going to get a few things for you, ok?" Sam asked.

"Sure,"Jack replied, "I'm going to nap, I guess."

"Don't get too depressed, ok?" she said.

Jack just nodded, feeling depressed as hell already.


	5. Chapter 5

When he woke next it was because Sam had returned carrying several large bags. He had the feeling she bought more than just a couple of books and a deck of cards.

He slowly raised the head of his bed so he could see better.

"What have you got there?" he asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

Sam set the pile of bags on the cot and selected two of them.

"Let's start with these," she said, bringing them over to the bed.

One seemed to contain nothing while the other bag bulged heavily. She fished around inside the empty looking one and pulled out a portable DVD player, setting it on Jack's tray table.

"Hey," he smiled, "this is cool."

"I had a feeling you'd think so."

"What's in the other bag?"

She grinned at him,"I went by your house and got your entire Simpsons collection, plus a few of your favorite movies. I also took time to shower and change."

"Have I been asleep that long?"

"I've been gone about four hours, hon,"she said.

"What else is over there?" Jack said peeking past Sam as much as he could.

"You'll have to wait to find out. I know you, you bore easily. If I give you everything now you'll be bored again in a week, and I have to keep you occupied for two weeks."

"Ok," Jack relented, knowing she was right.

Sam yawned mightily.

"Why don't you catch a nap and I'll watch a DVD," he said.

"I'll sleep tonight, for now I want to spend time with you."

"Unfortunately I have to interfere with that," came a female voice from the door way. There stood two nurses, one of them young and pretty, the other a matronly woman in her early fifties.

"When was the last time you hit that button?" the older woman asked Jack.

"It's been a while, why?"

"Take my advice and do it now, we have to bathe you and change your bed."

Jack just looked at her uncomprehendingly. She walked over and pushed the pain meds button for him.

"Mister O'Neill, trust me, you will need it."

"Should I leave?" Sam asked.

"You can stay if you like, it's up to you two," the nurse answered, already running warm water into a basin.

Jack looked at Sam and said something that amazed her.

"If I start crying or screaming, you leave, got it?"

"Not a chance," she smiled at him. "I'm your fiance, that means I'm in this for the long haul, right?"

"I just don't want you to see me lose it," Jack said.

"Oh it won't be quite that bad," the nurse interjected, "we aren't here to torture you, mister O'Neill."

Ten minutes later Jack was clean and settled into a fresh bed.

He wouldn't admit it, but it wasn't that bad and he felt better for being clean.

"Tell me this catheter is coming out soon," he asked the nurses.

"Not for a few more days at least, but I'll ask your doctor."

"What about these casts?"

Sam stayed silent, she already knew the answers.

"You'll have to ask your doctor, mister O'Neill. I'm not sure."

"Can you hazard a guess?" he insisted.

"Casts stay on from six to nine weeks in most cases. Soft casts like yours are removable. That's just to check your wounds and for bathing. They're also the only reason you aren't in traction right now. They can't put you in hard casts or traction because of your hip. There, now I've said too much," she groused.

They gathered up the basin and towels and left them alone.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I got hit by a big truck."

"Sounds like your sarcastic sense of humor remained intact," Sam said

"I think so," Jack agreed, comfortably sedated by the pain meds again.

Sam pulled her chair closer and stroked his damp hair.

"We'll get through this, Jack," she said, "I know we will."

"Yeah, but it's not going to be easy, is it?"

"Nothing worthwhile ever is."


	6. Chapter 6

Jack had drifted off to sleep again, but was awakened by a soft touch on his shoulder. It was Doctor Compton.

"I understand you have a few questions for me?" he said.

Sam jumped slightly at the man's voice, having been asleep herself.

"I do," Jack said.

"Can we take the catheter out yet?"

"No, the less you move around, the better for your legs and hip."

"Why is that?" Jack asked, not quite understanding the point. "I just would rather use a urinal."

"I understand, but--"

"Doc, please. Give me some dignity here. I can't walk, I can't even sit up. Let me at least pee in a plastic jug," he said with Jack O'Neill style.

"Is he always this stubborn?" The doctor asked Sam.

"This?" she laughed, "This is mild. He gets worse."

The doctor sighed, "We can try it, but you do realize that if it doesn't work the catheter goes back in?"

"It'll work, trust me. I'll make it work."

"Now, how long am I on a liquid diet?"

"Till we set your hip in place, which we will do in about ten more days."

"The casts?"

" At least four weeks if x-rays show your bones are knitting well. Mister O'Neill, you need to understand something. I can't put you in traction because off your hip, normally that is what I would do, but your case is a bit difficult. You must have the luck of the Irish because you could have easily lost both your legs. Do you know the other driver was brought here as well? He wasn't as lucky."

"What happened to him?" Jack asked.

"He's down in the morgue," Doctor Compton replied.

Jack was silent for a few long heartbeats.

"Thank you for answering my questions" he finally said quietly.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning," the doctor said as he left.

Alone with Sam, Jack was very quiet.

"Was it my fault?"

"No Jack," she answered, "he crossed the double yellow line into your lane. You didn't veer into his."

"Yeah, but I was speeding."

"Maybe, but the police aren't holding you at fault."

Jack didn't say anything for a long time and Sam was starting to get concerned.

"Hey?" she said, rubbing his forearm "you ok?"

"Yeah, I've killed men before Sam, it's part of our job. But I've never been in an accident like this and I can't help but wonder about the other guy. Did he have a wife? Kids? Why did he cross that line, had he been drinking?"

"You can ask yourself these questions forever, Jack, but it won't change anything. They call them accidents for a reason."

The nurse came in just then to remove his catheter. It was the older nurse who had bathed him earlier. A few minutes later Jack breathed a sigh of relief.

"Better?" the nurse asked.

"Much."

"You know you may end up regretting it," she told him.

"I'll take my chances."

"I know you will," the nurse said, "I know your type. You stand alone, you don't accept help unless you have absolutely no choice. You are a leader, not a follower, or am I wrong?"

Jack said nothing, but Sam spoke up.

"I think she's got your number, Jack"

He remained silent to the amusement of both women.

"If you need anything just call," the nurse said before she left.

"What's your name?" Jack asked before she could leave.

"Deleores," the nurse answeed, "I got off shift at eleven."

"Thanks Deleores," Jack said.

She simply nodded then was gone.

"Feel like watching a DVD, or, what do you want to do?"

"This pain medication keeps putting me to sleep, but we can try."

"They want you pretty sedated and still, hon," Sam said.

An hour later he was dozing again but in better spirits at least. A couple of episodes of 'the Simpsons' had improved his mood greatly. He slept for several hours and it was after three am when he woke next. Sam slept on the cot and Jack wanted to do nothing to wake her. He used his urinal then hit the call button for the nurse. She appeared in his doorway a minute later.

"What can I do for you?" She asked. He hushed her and pointed to Sam then pointed to the urinal hanging on the side of his bed. She nodded and took it away, bringing it back a moment later, clean and empty.

"Anything else?" she whispered.

Jack just shook his head no. She left the room and he stared into the darkness pondering what would become of his life now.


	7. Chapter 7

Jack was still awake at dawn and his hip and legs were throbbing, but he had made up his mind about the pain meds. No more. He could deal with it without resorting to drugs. That was final.

He waited impatiently for Sam to wake, watching the clock and thinking. His thoughts were a whirlwind of the accident, and his future, darkened by pain.

By the time Sam woke up he was in a 'right foul mood' as his mother would have said.

"Good morning," she said with a smile

"What's so good about it?"

"Didn't sleep well?"

"Would it matter?" he snapped.

"Jack, what's wrong?"

"Carter, can you put yourself in my place for just a damn minute?"

He hadn't called her Carter since they got engaged and it was a verbal slap. She looked down at her feet and didn't say anything for a few minutes.

"Jack?" she finally said, "You need to stop riding the self-pity train and concentrate on getting better. You have been through a lot, no one could say you haven't, but this attitude isn't you at all and you need to lose it."

Before he could say anything more she got up and left him there without a word as to whether or not she'd be back.

"Let her go," Jack muttered to himself.

He sat with his arms crossed over his chest biting at his lip and snapping at anyone who came into the room. The nurses, Doctor Compton, and even Sam when she showed up again an hour later.

"Nice to see your mood has improved," she sighed.

"Nice to see yours has too," he yelled.

He was in a lot of pain by now, and it was visible on his face. It was pale and pinched looking.

"Oh my God," Sam said, "You macho jackass, you aren't using the pain meds, are you?"

"What does it matter to you?"

"I love you, that's what it matters," she argued.

"I don't need them, ok?"

"No, it's not ok. Listen to yourself. You are snapping at everyone. You can't be like this for the next two weeks, or, are you trying to drive everyone away?"

Jack said nothing.

Before he could stop her Sam reached over and pressed the button.

"That was a dirty rotten move," Jack said with a snarl.

"It matched your dirty rotten attitude, the ends justify the means. Now if you feel they are giving you too much medicine, talk to the doctor. If you just want to be an ass, let me know and I can go back to the lab now."

Jack was silent, literally biting his tongue to keep from telling her to go. It was truly the last thing he wanted he just wasn't going to show anymore weakness.

"Talking to the doctor is my decision, not yours," he said, his voice a bit softer.

She tried to take his hand but he pulled away.

"So this is how it's going to be now?"

He said nothing.

"All right, here, let's do it this way," she said.

She went to the shopping bags she had brought in yesterday and carried all of them to the bed.

"This one has four Tom Clancy books, here are the playing cards you wanted. I thought you might have fun with this," she said handing him a playstation portable game.

"Here is a collection of 1970's music you should like. It'll play on your DVD player. Is it ok if I stay at your house for a while?"

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Had he actually pushed her too far?

"Suit yourself," he said, his pride choking back any other words.

"I'll come see you tonight," she said, leaning forward and quickly brushing his cheek with a kiss. Then she was out the door.

"Carter, c'mon!" he called out to her, but she didn't answer.

That seemed like the longest, worst day of Jack O'Neill's life. Even with the option of all the new gadgets Sam had brought him he was miserable. He stopped snapping at the nurses the minute he had to ask for their help, and it seemed like he was asking for their help every few minutes. He was still rude though.

The dose of pain meds he got when Sam hit the button hit his system pretty fast and he dosed fitfully for a while, after that he was a nightmare again.

The older nurse that had been on duty yesterday was not putting up with his attitude though.

"Mister O'Neill," she told him, "if you keep this up I'll get an order from Doctor Compton to sedate you for your own good."

That settled him down some, he didn't know how serious she was.

He kept watching the clock and hoping that Sam would come back. He was in for a long wait, she didn't return until seven that evening.

The first thing he did was apologize.

"Sorry, Sam," he said as soon as she walked in.

"It's ok," she said but he got the distinct impression that it wasn't ok at all.

"I messed up and I'm sorry,"

"It's ok, Jack. You're going through a lot right now. In your situation I would have said and done a lot worse. So don't worry."

He still wasn't reassured, but he let it drop.

"So how was your day?" she asked him.

"Long and boring, yours?"

"About the same. I cleaned your house, the dust bunnies and cobwebs were taking over."

"I'm their leader," Jack said with a deadpan expression.

Sam chuckled.

"Have you decided to use your meds or not?"

"No, I haven't decided. You know I don't like them."

"I know, but you really need too use them in this case."

"I'll take it under advisement," he sighed.

"Fair enough, I suppose, at least you aren't biting my head off tonight."

"Will you help me do some things while you are here?" he asked.

"You know I will, what do you need?"

"Batteries in the PSP and--"

Sam laughed, "I thought you were going to ask for something difficult."

She set up his game, put his books in reach and moved the bag with his DVDs in it closer as well.

"Got you settled in now?" she asked with a smile.

"Yeah, thanks. Think I can get a kiss?"

"Sure," she said, leaning in and kissing him softly on the lips.

"You call that a kiss?" he said in a mocking tone.

She leaned again and kissed him deeply this time.

"Much better," he whispered when she broke the searing contact of their mouths.

"Have you seen the doctor yet tonight?" Sam asked, looking a little shaken.

"No, he hasn't been in yet. I was kinda rude to him this morning."

"Jack, you were kinda rude to everyone this morning. Why so?"

"I just feel like I'm going out of my mind already. What will the next few months be like?"

"I think you'll have a lot of days like today," came the doctor's voice from the doorway.

"Doc," Jack said straining to be civil.

"Mister O'Neill, what seems to be troubling you most, pain?"

"I think I'm getting too much pain medication. It makes me sleep all the time and I don't like that."

"Ok, we can take you off the button machine and I'll write an order for an IV injection when you feel you need one, how does that sound?"

"Sounds ok," Jack said.

"Now I want to see your legs," he said, flipping the blankets up and un-fastening the removable casts on Jack's shins.

It was the first time Jack had seen his legs since the accident and he was appalled. Both his shins were swollen and purplelish-black. He could see the small incisions where the bones had been pinned back together and in all it looked grotesque.

"Oh God," Sam said softly. It was the first time she had seen them too.

"And everyone wonders why I'm so grouchy," Jack muttered.


	8. Chapter 8

Doctor Compton re-fastened the removable casts on Jacks legs.

"Oh, I don't know, all in all you are in good shape."

"I'll trade places anytime you want to, Doc," Jack said sarcasticly.

"Jack." Sam said, her tone a warning.

"I'm just saying--"

"It seems bad," Doctor Compton smiled, "but it really could be a lot worse. I've seen people much worse off than this walking in as little as there months."

"Unaided? No cane or crutches?" Jack asked doubtfully.

"Yes, it depends on how fast you heal. Does that reassure you somewhat?"

Jack just grunted.

"Thank you Doctor Compton," Sam said as the older man turned to go. He just smiled and tipped her a wink.

"I know you've never been fond of doctors and needles, but Jack, you need to work on your attitude a little."

"I swear if anyone tells me that again, I'll scream."

"And if you don't, the rest of us will scream."

"I just hate this, Sam. I don't think anything worse could have happened to me."

"You don't think dying would be worse? Or being paralyzed, or losing your legs would have been worse?"

He sat as silent as the sphinx.

"My God, Jack, just listen to yourself. For days all you've been doing is wallowing in self-pity. The staff has bent over backwards to help you and all you do is snap at everyone."

"I think under the circumstances--"

"That everyone should just overlook it. I know. I'm going to get a cup of coffee, do you ant one?" Sam said with a note of aggravation to her voice.

"Yeah."

"I'll be back," she leaned forward and kissed his cheek.

Jack sat alone in the room and brooded over his predicament. He was beginning to think she had gotten lost when she finally returned smiling broadly.

"What took you so long?"

"Busy place."

After drinking their coffee Sam talked him into a game of gin rummy. Which he won easily. Jack was an avid card player. It effectively took his mind off things for a while, and he knew distractions of any kind would be short lived soon enough.

The next morning dawned bright and sunny, unlike Jack. He woke in pain as usual and feeling mad at the world. By the time Sam woke, he was almost furious.

"I see you're feeling chipper," she said when he started snapping at her yet again. "Jack, why don't you get a pain shot and just relax."

"Oh, I'm getting on your nerves now, is that what you're saying?"

"Pretty much, I just can't take the Jekyll and Hyde routine anymore. I don't know what to expect from you."

"Expect me to be miserable! Expect me to hurt! Expect me to wish that this had never happened!"

"And expect all that from me too, but don't take it out on me. I am miserable because you are. I hurt because you do and I wish to God this had never happened."

She was crying by then which made Jack feel sorry, but pride and anger wouldn't let him apologize right now.

Dolores came in just then carrying a large foam wedge and being trailed by two nurses aids.

"What are you doing?" Jack asked her his snippy tone of voice.

"Well good morning to you too, sunshine," she gruffed back at him.

"What are you doing?" Jack asked again, eyeing the wedge wearily. "We can't let you lay in one position for another week you'll get bedsores. We have to roll you slightly."

"You have got to be kidding me."

"Yes, I am kidding you, and the wedge is simply a prop. Do you want a pain shot? We can wait for it to take effect before we do this," she offered.

"No, I--"

"All right," she said, directing the two aids to one said of the bed while she went to the other.

"Onto your left side on three, one, two, three."

Jack tried to bite back the scream that was escaping him as on three the aids rolled Jack slightly and Dolores put the wedge behind him so he couldn't roll back.

"Want that pain shot now?" She asked him again.

"Yes," Jack gasped, sweat popping out on his forehead.

She was back in minutes and shot the needle straight into Jack's IV.

"It will feel cold in your arm for a second or two," Dolores said, then it will hit you pretty quick."

She left them alone and Jack called out softly to Sam.

"You still there?"

"You know I am," she came around to the other side of the bed so he could see her, her face still damp with tears.

"I'm sorry, Sam," he said, his face contorted with pain.

"It's ok. Don't worry about it. You'll get back to your usual self eventually."

"I hope so," Jack muttered.

Sam took his hand and held it, brushing the back of it with her thumb until he relaxed and fell asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

It took two days for Jack to get comfortable in this position and then they moved him onto his back again. This time he took Dolores up on the pain shot. It didn't keep him from totally feeling the pain of the movement, it just dulled it somewhat. Afterward they bathed him and brought him an electric razor.

Just as Jack finished shaving a familiar voice came from the doorway.

"Is this a bad time?"

"Daniel?"

There stood both Daniel Jackson, and Teal'c.

"And Teal'c," Daniel said pointing to the well muscled dark skinned man beside him.

"We heard you had a fender bender."

"You could say that," Jack answered dryly.

"Hi Sam," Daniel said to her.

"Hi Daniel, glad you came."

"Glad you called and told me."

"I too am glad you informed us of O'Neill's condition. On Chulack it is common for the entire family to gather when one member is injured or sick to pray and perform rituals of healing."

"You guys are as close to a family as I have anymore," Jack said, "but be fore warned, I'm not easy to be around sometimes."

"And how does this differ from normal?" Daniel asked him with a puzzled look on his face.

"Very funny."

"He's not kidding," Sam put in, "He's a little intense at times." This statement earned Jack a couple of strange looks from his friends.

"Oh!" Daniel said quickly," these are for you, we thought they would be more appropriate than flowers."

He handed a bundle of tootsie pop suckers and a box of chocolate candy to Jack.

"You know what I like," Jack said with a grin.

It seemed a visit with Daniel and Teal'c was just what Jack needed. His mood was improved and everyone commented on it. Even Dolores who Jack had teasingly began to call 'Nurse Ratchet' she took it in stride occasionally calling him Jack-ass in return, marveled at the change in his mood.

Sam would spend her nights at the hospital, never leaving his side, while Daniel and Teal'c would go to Jack's house at night to rest. Keeping him occupied was a job the three people could manage ok. They spent days playing cards, or laughing over Jack's favorite episodes of the Simpsons.

One evening as they were sitting around just talking, Doctor Compton entered.

"How are you, Jack?"

"Oh, I'm hanging in there so far," Jack gave his standard answer.

"How would you like us to put your hip back in place in the morning?"

"How bad is it going to hurt?"

"You'll be asleep, then you'll be sore for a few days, but as well as things have been going I don't see why you can't go home in a day or two."

Jack looked stunned.

"You'll be using a wheelchair for a while yet, and you'll start your therapy almost as soon as you are out, but you can go home."

"That sounds great, Doc, really great."

Doctor Compton checked his legs for any sign of infection before saying goodnight.

"Home, that is if you guys haven't destroyed my house with some wild party," Jack groused good naturedly

"No, we're planning that for _when_ you get out of here," Daniel piped up.

"Really? With pizza and beer?" he looked hopeful.

"With anything you want," Sam said.

He gave her a sidelong, meaningful glance that made her blush slightly as Daniel chuckled and Teal'c smiled.

"I am so ready to go home," Jack said.

"Looking forward to therapy?" Daniel asked.

"Looking forward to a tax audit?" he quipped back.

"I just meant were you looking forward to getting started on therapy. It's going to take a while for you to be walking on your own again, isn't it?"

"I don't know yet, guess I'll know once I get started, just getting out of here will be a little slice of heaven,"

"What are you looking forward to most?" Sam asked him.

"Just going home. Maybe a good meal. Definitely sleeping in my own bed."

"Anything I can cook that you'd like to have for a meal?" she asked.

"Your chili. Make a big pot of your chili."

"You got it."

They called it an early night, all of them a little excited for Jack. He was in the most upbeat mood they had seen since the accident. Jack himself had trouble sleeping for the same reason. He finally asked for something to help him sleep, just so he'd quit bothering Sam.

They came to set his hip at about six the next morning. Doctor Compton and two other young doctors administered an anesthetic directly into Jack's IV which took effect very quickly.

Sam watched, biting down on her lip as all three doctors pulled,shoved and twisted Jacks leg back into place.

"There we go," Doctor Compton said, "good as new."

"When will he wake up?" Sam asked.

"He shouldn't be out more than an hour or so. Don't worry, he is doing well. Later today he can get into a wheelchair if he feels like it. He might feel like some air."

"That would be a welcome change, I imagine. Jack isn't the kind of man to stay cooped up."

"Have me paged if you need anything." the doctor said, patting her on the shoulder before he left.

Sam sat down and took Jack's hand in hers, waiting for him to wake again.


	10. Chapter 10

Jack came out of the anesthesia slowly, like coming out of a thick fog. He felt Sam's slender hand in his and her voice was the first thing he heard.

"Welcome back."

"Oh God, what did they do to me?"

"Just what they intended, it took three men to do it though," Sam said.

"It feels like three men tap-danced on me," Jack groaned.

"After watching it, I can see why."

"Did he say when I can get up in a wheelchair?"

"Today if you want. I can even take you down to the courtyard to get some fresh air."

"We'll have to see about that, I just want to sit up for a while, help me?"

"Jack, maybe you should wait till the anesthesia has worn off completely."

"I'll be ok, just help steady me."

"Now? Right now?" Sam looked amazed.

"Yeah, c'mon."

"Let's at least get a nurse in here so there is someone on each side of you."

He regarded her a moment.

"Is that the only way you'll help me out of this bed? C'mon Sam I've been here two freakin weeks."

"Let me go find a wheelchair," she sighed in exasperation. She came back with one a minute later.

"I think Dolores busted me," she said glancing over her shoulder.

"The doctor said i could, right?"

"Yeah, I just wish you'd wait a little while, Jack."

"I've got to try Sam, I just have to," he said earnestly, "Now please, help me."

She gave in and parked the wheelchair as close to the bed as she could.

Jack sat up slowly, wincing slightly as he did. He eased first one then the other foot to the floor and holding onto Sam slowly stood up, testing his legs. He took two cautious steps in a circle and sat down in the wheelchair with a smirk.

"Told ya," he winked at her.

"Oh God, you will be unbearable today, won't you?"

"You betcha. I have some freedom again. Wanna race down the hall?"

"I think not," came a gruff voice from the doorway.

"Well hello nurse Ratchet," Jack teased with a grin.

"Who got you out of that bed?"

"We did," Sam said softly.

Jack took the brakes off the wheelchair and begin to move around the room popping wheelies here and there.

"I came to tell you that you are now on a regular diet since you can move somewhat. Would you like breakfast?"

"Any kind of food sounds good, even hospital food. Yes, breakfast would be lovely."

Dolores jerked a thumb at him and asked Sam, "Is he always this congenial?"

"You should see him on a really good day," Sam grinned.

Dolores just chuckled and left to get Jack's breakfast try.

"I wish they would let me go home today."

"Frankly, I'm glad you'll be here another day or two, it gives me time to get things set up at the house for you."

"What kind of things?" he asked wearily.

"A wheelchair, a shower chair if you need one, just 'things' you might need."

"You make it sound like I'm an invalid,"

"Jack, you still are. You've got a long way to go and you can't rush yourself."

"We O'Neill's are fast healers, wait and see. I'll be walking again in no time. I have to. I can't very well _roll_ you down the aisle, can I?"

"Walk, roll, I don't care either way, I'm just glad you are still here."

When Daniel and Teal'c arrived that evening Jack did in fact find an opponent for a wheelchair race down the hallway. Daniel.

Much to the annoyance of the nurses and a couple of the patients, they raced down the hallway twice before Jack gave in and declared Daniel the winner.

With Teal'c helping her Sam easily got Jack back into bed.

Two days later they sent him home. Jack was definitely ready for the change in scenery. Two weeks was the longest he'd ever spent in a hospital. He couldn't imagine what it must be like for people who had to spend months there. His first day home was exactly like he had asked for. Pizza, beer, TV and good conversation. We didn't think about how he had to start physical therapy in a few days, he just focused on right now. He had been in a horrifying wreck, and he had come out with a new perspective on things.


	11. Chapter 11

Just as the soreness was leaving his body, his first therapy appointment came around. He met his therapist Sandy, an upbeat, redhead with a very quick wit. When he complained about the exercises she made him do he called her his physical terrorist and not to be out done she called him 'da general'. Jack welcomed the verbal sparring as a distraction to the pain.

Sam took him to his PT appointments, but was not allowed in the therapy sessions. She could tell how difficult they were on Jack by his attitude. Good days were bad, but bad days were hell.

Life became a repetition of pain and lashing out at people for Jack, and although he thought he was pushing them away he couldn't seem to stop himself from doing it.

Daniel and Teal'c had to leave to resume their lives but promised to keep in touch by phone and e-mail. Sam still had a lot of accumulated leave time so she was staying.

Jack didn't have the words to tell her how much it meant that she was still there with him through all the biting comments, snide remarks, and verbal tirades. He was fighting with depression every day and she had become his only anchor against it. It amazed him that she just seemed to go with the flow of his mood no matter what it might be.

After two weeks of therapy, including walking between parallel bars, he was taken out of the wheelchair and given a walker which he hated even worse.

"The chair at least had some dignity to it," he griped to Sandy one day, as she exercised his legs in range of motion movements.

"But a chair isn't going to make your legs stronger and we need to do that. Believe it or not, your muscles have atrophied slightly and are weak around those weak bones. Bad combo, see, if we get the muscles back up to par you can walk even sooner, and I know you want that."

She was right, Jack wanted to be back on his own two feet, he wanted to walk, hell, he wanted to run, to dance even. He and Sam were getting married, they hadn't set a date yet, but when it came he wanted to be able to dance with her at their wedding.

He began to push himself harder and harder in therapy and then at home too. Sandy warned him to slow down before he did more harm than good, but he didn't listen and charged ahead. He had made up his mind to be walking out of there in three months and to marry Sam.

Once he made those decisions his attitude changed. The verbal onslaught stopped and he became himself again. Everyone was right, he had been damn lucky to make it through that accident and still have the woman he loved and considered his best friend by his side.

"Have I told you lately how much I love you?" he said one night as they sat down to dinner

"You tell me all the time," she answered, cocking her head to one side with a little smile. "But I never get tired of hearing it."

"Well I do, and if you weren't engaged already I'd ask you to marry me," he said with a wink.

His therapy became easier as his legs grew stronger and stronger and in eight weeks he was walking much better. His confidence was growing as well and he realized there was something he had not done since the accident. He had not made love to Sam since the crash, and that realization came as a shock to him. Jack O'Neill possessed a high sex drive, and to lie in bed next to his fiance every night for two months and not touch her was strange.

"Sandy?" he said the very next morning as they were in the hydro therapy pool. "Do you think it would be ok for me to have sex?"

"I dunno, are you any good at it? It's ok if you are good at it," she smarted off to him.

Jack actually blushed slightly.

"That wasn't what I meant and you know it."

"I know, I just had to give you a hard time. I don't see why you can't, although I would suggest you are the one on the bottom, at least for now."

"I'll take that under advisement," Jack said.

He had taken a shower that night and got into bed and Sam was reading a book, with no warning he reached over and removed it from her hands.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to try making love to you, what did you think I was doing?"

"Jack, if you aren't ready it's ok to wait," she said.

"Oh I'm ready, are you?"

"I'm always ready for your touch," she smiled.

He discovered he had nothing to worry about.


	12. Chapter 12

"I want to try jogging," Jack announced to Sandy at their next appointment.

"No, very bad idea. You aren't ready yet. Stick to walking and swimming for now, we'll get you up to jogging."

"No, I want to try it today, just once, across the room."

"No, Jack," It was one of the few times she used his name. "You do and I'll kick your butt."

But before she could stop him he was off, sprinting toward the opposite wall. He made it about five steps before he crumpled to the floor.

"What did I tell you?" Sandy yelled at him," Do you want to break one of those surgical pins? Do you have any idea how bad that would hurt?

"I think I just did," Jack said, his face pale and lips drawn tight.

"Aw shit," Sandy said. It was the first time Jack ever heard her swear. "Don't move, I'll get a brace."

She braced his leg then she and Sam got him outside and into the car, heading for the hospital and Doctor Compton's office.

The first thing Doctor Compton did was order x-rays of the leg which showed that yes, Jack had indeed broken one of the small pins in his leg.

"Well," Doctor Compton sighed in disappointment, "I'll have you admitted and we'll go back in tomorrow and repair it." He disappeared to make some arrangements.

"What possessed you to try running, Jack?" Sam asked him for the third time.

"I just wanted to see if I could do it, ok? It's not like I entered myself in the Boston marathon."

"But honey, you've set yourself back by months. And you were doing so well."

"I know," Jack sighed, "I just had to try it."

Sam let the subject drop and Doctor Compton returned.

"Admissions is expecting you and we can do the surgery in the morning. You won't need to be in the hospital but a day or so this time because we don't have to worry about your hip. That's the good news."

"Is there bad news?" Jack asked.

"The bad news is that you will have to use a cane now, at least temporarily."

"Aw give me a break Doc," Jack complained, "I just have got away from the walker."

"I'm sorry, but you brought this one on yourself."

Sam had him admitted and took him up to the fourth floor again, Jack sulked the whole way.

"Well look who's back!" Dolores said when she saw them coming to the nurses station. "Want your old room?"

"I don't care," Jack muttered.

"I see you are still the ray of sunshine I remember," she teased.

"Now what brings you back to my domain, sunshine?" She asked him.

Jack didn't answer, so Sam did.

"One of his pins broke, They are replacing it tomorrow."

"Will you want a cot, Samantha?" She asked, knowing Jack and Sam liked staying together last time.

"Yes, please."

They put Jack in bed in his room although things were a lot different this time. He could sit up easily, and didn't have nearly as much pain. His mood had soured though, he felt depressed again, and more than a little embarrassed by the whole thing.

The next morning he underwent surgery to replace the one broken pin. It took just over an hour and the prognosis was excellent. He had set his recovery time back by about six weeks, but he was still doing well.

When he woke in the recovery room he called for Sam and they allowed her to come back for a few minutes.

After about an hour they sent him back to his room and eased him into his bed.

"Sam?" he said, his voice very coarse.

'I'm here, just a second,"

She gave him a sip of water through a straw.

"What do you need, Jack?" she asked.

"Just to know you're there." he muttered before falling back to sleep.

He woke again hours later, much more alert this time.

His right shin was encased in a removable splint type cast.

"I was so hoping that this was all a bad dream," he said to Sam.

"Sorry, but it isn't."

"Guess that's what I get for trying to do too much, huh?"

"Well, you just have to give yourself a little more time. I know how impatient you can be, but in this case you need to slow down. You're talking about something that is going to effect the rest of your life."

"I know,"Jack sighed.

"Easier said than done, I imagine," Sam said.

"You better believe it. Thanks for being there when I woke up."

"You're welcome, anytime."

He spent the night in the hospital and was released the very next day walking slowly in the awkward cast and using a cane.

His therapy schedule changed and he went every day for two weeks trying to rebuild the strength in his leg. Hydro therapy was his favorite and they did it at least three times a week. His least favorite therapy was electro therapy where they attached electrode to his muscles and shocked him with a low level voltage machine called a Tenzi unit.

This time around he followed all of Sandy's instructions without argument.


	13. Chapter 13

Jack worked his butt off at every therapy session and began using a weight bench at home. If the muscles in his legs needed to be stronger than he'd make them stronger. Sam watched him carefully, worried that he might be pushing too hard again, but he seemed to handling things well.

"You don't have to try so hard, you know," she told him one day.

"Yes I do, I told you I wouldn't go down the aisle in a wheelchair and I'm not going to do it with a cane either. I want to walk you down the aisle. Period."

"Jack we don't even have a date set yet."

"All the more reason for me to work hard. You could decide you wanted us to get married next month and I would need to be ready."

"I promise I won't bring up the subject of a wedding date until after you are healed, just don't push yourself too hard again, ok?"

"I'm not going to, I swear it."

A month passed and you could see a dramatic change in Jack's legs. The time spent in therapy had made him toned and defined. Sandy had him walking the parallel bars again and Jack did it quite well. His balance was good and his stride even.

"You've been working out, haven't you?" Sandy asked him, one afternoon.

"Just a little. Do I need to stop?"

"Not if you are pain free. Use your head and if your leg starts to hurt, then stop."

"You bet'cha," Jack agreed.

Jack was spending less and less time walking with the cane but had a slight limp. Sam told him it just added character.

Doctor Compton released him from his care, but he still had therapy twice a week. He had stopped using the weights at home and Sandy had taken him off the parallel bars. Now he just walked laps in the gym at the therapy center, or swam.

"Today I want you to run one lap," Sandy told him on one visit.

"Jog a lap?" Jack asked, remembering all to clearly what happened the last time.

"Just one lap, you can do it, Jack."

He started off slowly, and gradually sped up until he turned into the homestretch at a good pace. He came to a stop where Sandy stood waiting on him.

"Very good," she said. "When you can do that four times, I'll cut you loose from my care."

"You mean I can finally get away from you?"

"No, I can finally get away from you."

Jack had always kept himself in pretty good shape, but he was in the best shape he'd been in for many years. His laps during therapy were easy to do, and he enjoyed them. He didn't feel any pain in either leg even if he pushed his speed up a little.

His routine became comfortable again, living with Sam, running or swimming at the therapy center, and just having a new appreciation for life in general. He began to think about setting a date for the wedding and wondered if Sam was ready to.

"What would you think about June tenth?" Jack asked her one morning.

"For what?" she answered, not sure what he was talking about.

"To get married."

"That's just two month away, Jack. I need more time to get everything organized."

"Want to just elope?"

"No, but I need a little more than two months notice. And I thought we weren't going to discuss this until after you were completely heald?"

"I'll be released from Sandy's torture in a few days, if you want to we can wait till then, but I'm not wasting anymore time. I wasted too much time that we could have been together, I won't do it again."

One week after he had that conversation with Sam he ran his four laps in the gym and Sandy released him from her care. It had been five months since the accident and he had come a long way.

"You have to pick a date now," he said to Sam as soon as he got into the car.

"You were released? That's great!"

"Now were going to get married and I'm resigning," he reached over and took her hand kissing the back of it.

Sam stared at him for a second. She hadn't considered Jack resigning.

"I just want to spend time with you now, all the time I have left."

"But Jack--"

"No buts, you said yes to marrying me and I intend to hold you to it"

"Let's go home and look at the calender," Sam said, "then we can pick a date."

"About damn time," Jack said with a grin.

The End

A/N : Thanks go out to NiteJade for her beta work, to Dr. Angie Whitesell for answering all my silly questions about fractures and dislocations without laughing, and to Doctor Scott Compton for the use of his name.


End file.
